Episode 1: Intro & Call for Siblings!

Hi Everyone, my name is Charlene and I have a new podcast idea that I would like to tell you about.

    First for some background about me, my sister was diagnosed with Autism at the age of 3.  I was 5 years old at the time, and I didn’t really know how to piece that together.  All my mom told me was that my life was not going to be normal.  And so, I went through life with my sister, and my parents, and we lived life to the best of our abilities.  That being said, we had our ups and downs, struggles and heartaches, good times and bad.  There were inside jokes, there was eating at specific restaurants, and a schedule to be followed.  My parents tried their best for me to have a “normal” life, but it was still pretty difficult for me.  Fast forward many years to the present, and this is what inspired this podcast, called The Special Needs Sibling Podcast.

    On this podcast I want to talk with other special needs siblings, like myself, and just talk about what it was like growing up, and what life is like now as someone who is a sibling to someone with a disability.  And obviously I’m not going to get everyone’s life story, there’s going to be things that people will not want to talk about in a public forum, and that’s totally fine.  I just want to get the conversation going.  Special needs siblings are some of the greatest people on the planet with the biggest hearts and they fly right under the radar because their sibling with the disability takes up most, if not all, of the attention around them.  Parents do the best they can, but a lot of their time and energy goes to the child with the disability, and in public spaces, definitely all the attention is on the child with the disability.  Siblings will even sacrifice different aspects of their lives because there’s a part of them that knows it’s not worth the energy due to their sibling with a disability taking up the time and resources.

    As adults, not a lot of parents necessarily communicate the future caretaking plan to their quote-unquote “normal” children, and the responsibility of taking care of the adult child with the disability isn’t clear.  Some siblings just assume the role of guardian and trudge through it while others happily take over, some siblings get blind sided and are confused, and some siblings walk away from their family entirely.  There are so many times where we as special needs siblings get taken for granted and sit on the sidelines, and I want that story to change.  I want us, siblings, to take charge of our stories instead of letting parents, guardians, care takers, and even our siblings with disabilities take the driver seat of our lives.  We love them dearly, but with so many resources out there for everyone else EXCEPT siblings, how are we supposed to get support and empathy?

    Every sibling has their own unique relationship with their sibling that has a disability, their parents, and the people that interact with their family, and I want for this podcast to honor that.  I’m not here to say that we are all the same, but I AM here to say that we all matter.

    As a special needs sibling, we matter just as much as anyone else in this world does.  In fact there’s probably more of us in the world than you think.  How many people can you think of that are related to someone with a disability?  I’ve searched through the internet looking to see what’s out there in terms of support and ethos for siblings, but nothing has hit the nail on the head for me.  So I decided that I was going to start the conversation and be that space.  A space to help normalize the feelings, challenges, good times, and bad times around being a sibling.  A space where siblings can listen to other siblings and know that they’re not alone.  And this is not about venting.  There are spaces for that, but this space is about putting us at the center of attention that we have been deprived of and about celebrating the sacrifices and struggles in our lives that we have made because of how much love, which may have turned into loathing or even hate, for our siblings, parents and caretakers.

    I know that might be a lot to take in, but I wanted to put this out there and hopefully together we can shine the light on siblings of people with special needs.  If you are a sibling who’s interested in being on the podcast, or even just talking off the record, I would be more than happy to chat.  I definitely understand there’s a lot of things that are not meant to be shared, or haven’t even been processed, but at the same time, even the smallest story about a memory from your childhood or adulthood is something worth sharing with other siblings.  You can check out the link in the show notes to get into contact with me.  If you aren’t a special needs sibling but know someone who is, please share this info with them!

    I hope to talk to you soon.  Thanks for listening.